Film Songs

Some of my beliefs have been tuned and toned by patho songs I have listened to when I was growing. When I was adoloscent, I listened to more of 'love failure' songs - the words were are so apt that I could co-relate to any other impersonal failures also.

Cicero's Six Mistakes of Man

I wanted to track how I am performing with these six mistakes. Let me see
how I do through this week starting today.

1. The delusion that individual advancement is made by crushing others

2. The tendency to worry about things that cannot be changed or
corrected

3. Insisting that a thing is impossible because we cannot accomplish it

4. Refusing to set aside trivial preferences

5. Neglecting development and refinement of the mind and not acquiring
the habit of reading and studying

6. Attempting to compel other persons to believe and live as we do.

Sssstay on.

I was about to give up something. But am I not being tested for something ?
If I give up, it is the real failure.
But let me stick on to it.
I think differently, usefully, caringly. That is yet to be recognized.
Let me give the flower time to bloom.
I am known as a loving, caring personality. Let me not give up.

Life - my choice

I can leave in peace if I choose to live as below -

* Love Unconditionally : Inspite of knowing that a dear one lives
his/her style the way we didn't prefer.
* Acknowledging limits of others : Acknowledging limits of others and
appreciating that everything has its own beauty.
* Not complaining : Why to complain for everything that falls short ?
People accepted me though I was a bag of limitations.

Life is not a string with tension at both the ends. Now, It's a bed made of
silk.

Senseless work

It is absolutely senseless
* To expect people to behave the way we wanted.
* To expect people to hold the same beliefs as ours.
* To expect people to do all that we like to have.

People have different beliefs. These beliefs have certain representations.
The awareness of these representations change people state. If one intends
to change the state, one has to change beliefs first.
But its absolutely none of my business to keep changing people's beliefs, as
and when I like.

Not in mood today

After spending a great weekend at home, I am not in great mood today, this
Monday.
I m having a mixed feeling.

NLP and Health

NLP's application in Medical field could be trend setting and long lasting.
In India, the health sector focuses on diversified areas but not much
vertical growth. Reason could be that there may be too many options
available to people but people tried one and gave up, hop to next practise.
Whatever it be, the awareness that most of the illness is due to
psychological rather than physical should be improved.
We often erode our own fertile mind with weapons of worry and guilt. Why do
we often worry and feel guilty ? May be it is easy to do so ?!

* If a patient is taught on how to cure himself mentally, certainly he
would recover fast.
* How nice it would be if hospitals employ 'mental health doctors' who
speak to patients and improve their confidence.
* Even visitors can carry 'books on good hope' to patients.
* Medical shops may sell 'get well soon' cards.
* Trained counsellors may engage the anxious relatives and visitors on
how to handle the patients.
* Audio-visual proofs that somebody in the past recovered faster, will
alter patients mental representations.

Patients sometimes create more trouble for themselves by over-reacting. This
could be because of the past experiences they had or learnt. Even movies
have their role. So, movie directors can shoot films targetting the patients
for their betterment. (Teleshopping ads show that one can reduce weight in 7
days)

We as NLP practitioners shall start applying our NLP knowledge for the
betterment of ailing patients.

Ganesh

Balancing Emotions

It was a late Sunday evening (01 Aug 04). Some thought kept me away from
good spirit. A kind of "I wish I could have that" feeling was gripping me
so hard.

I tried disassociation, 360 deg graphics etc.. but the feeling was still the
same. I tried to change the submodalities : the feeling was warm, and heavy;
and my heart was heavy. Still it didn't work.

I recalled what Ashlesh told me sometimes : to locate the feeling and
relocate it to a different part. but when I tried, the feeling rolled to be
a sticky ball and refused to move.

My science knowledge (!!!) tried to convince me that the feeling could be
because of the bad weather (why should I blame the weather to be bad, by the
way ?), or it could be because of the spicy dinner (and the resultant
chemical reaction).

But how long would do I stay so ?! I wanted to change the state.

And that's the first time I get that "I wish I could have that" thought. I
knew very well "that" thing was NOT an achieveable goal / object. It was a
baseless desire. But some part of me was triggering this emotion.

I tried this : I assumed a light weight empty heart on the right side
(symmetrically opposite to my organic heart). I carried that feeling into
the new heart and started observing. Wow !!! I was feeling very comfortable.
This heart allowed me to carry this negative feeling. The feeling was light
and comfortably cold.

I looked to my left - the organic heart : I felt the currents in my organic
heart were balanced by this time and that I could breath normally. I felt
very light.

It was an instant relief. Nothing serves like NLP !

Counselling in schools

Recent crime reports make me think that school kids need
counselling-on-demand. The existing counsellors make themselves available at
selective time (6pm - 9pm). There are full time counsellors available but
not enough promotion is done.

Then, school teachers who do a secondary level of parenting also need
counselling.

Third, the parents themselves need counselling on parenting.

The current system of education makes all the three - children, teachers,
and parents - stressful and constantly pressurized.

All the three try to cope up with the pressure but most of the time end up
doing 'wrong' thing.

For example, parents abuse kids for not having scored the highest mark.
Teachers become symbols of arrogance rather than knowledge provider. The
kids find shortcuts to cope up with all the challenges before them.

My cousin absconded from home 10 years back on the eve of his Final year
Bcom results. We don't know whether he is alive or dead still. He was not
good at studies that his father, a senior bank official, found embarrased to
introduce his son to other colleagues. These kind of implicit demands
stressed my cousin and we lost him.

Four years back one of my raakhi sisters got engaged to her boyfriend. The
boy left to US for his MS while the girl was in Bangalore only. Slowly, he
moved away from her that finally the relationship broke. This girl
determined to do MS as a challenge to this boy and she completed her MS. But
the boy didn't bother at all. Finally she got married to some other guy. But
this didn't change her failure mode. What good reason she found to do MS
?!!!

NLP practitioners owe a lot to the society; And counselling in school is one
potential area.

Influence/Association

Now I believe whom we associate ourselves with really affects our personal
and professional growth. I don't know this magic works but I know it works
that way. I am impressed by words of Jim Rohn who was a mentor of TR.
Influence/Association by Jim Rohn
There are two parts to influence: First, influence is powerful; and second,
influence is subtle. You wouldn't let someone push you off course, but you
might let someone nudge you off course and not even realize it.
We need a variety of input and influence and voices. You cannot get all the
answers to life and business from one person or from one source.
Attitude is greatly shaped by influence and association.
Don't spend most of your time on the voices that don't count. Tune out the
shallow voices so that you will have more time to tune in the valuable ones.
"No" puts distance between you and the wrong influence.
You must constantly ask yourself these questions: Who am I around? What are
they doing to me? What have they got me reading? What have they got me
saying? Where do they have me going? What do they have me thinking? And most
important, what do they have me becoming? Then ask yourself the big
question: Is that okay?
Don't join an easy crowd; you won't grow. Go where the expectations and the
demands to perform are high.
Some people you can afford to spend a few minutes with, but not a few hours.
Get around people who have something of value to share with you. Their
impact will continue to have a significant effect on your life long after
they have departed.

A new game

I have to admit that I am not good at Submodalities. The limited knowledge and the lack of practise hampers my modeling. It was almost when I decided that I will exercise the submodalities, I received two calls on the same day from special people - my cousin and my uncle. With my cousin, the conversation began friendly but gradually I noticed he is trying to cut off the rapport with heavy breathing, rough words, direct attacking. It sounded like the Principal controlling the student. He consciously swtiched over
from visual (rapport) to auditory (misrapport). There was no feeling part.
He started feeling the conversation was like a drama. Because, to my knowledge, he didn't have any need to question me. The questions posed by him were meta model questions. It didn't hurt me at all - because I was aware of what is going to happen. I didn't return my words abusing. In all, I used the conversation as an exercise.
The second caller - my uncle called me when I was asleep. He also sounded tensed. I immediately started believing my uncle and cousin had plans to call and disturb my thoughts. My uncle is a clever person. He finished the conversation smoothly.
I don't know whether both the caller got what they wanted. But that helped me made few decisions and be a different person too. I am able test how I breathe and feel when I get such "heavy voices" over phone. I realized it is possible I am vulnerable. So, immediately I dissassociated myself and hurt feeling is gone.
I dream something big - a larger community where I am going to make big difference. I don't need any motivation from outside. I have enough. I am doing it in the right pace. I am giving off all that I could do. But you both have striken with the wrong key. You played a game on me, fine. But you need a response, reaction - take it from me. You both are not bad - I know you both are good at your fields. But I don't want to be part of your dream.

I have decided to play a different game. While my dream is still the same.

Status for the week (14-20 Jun 04)

My plan for the week 14-20 jun 2004 was this :
* Create a model newsletter
Status: A newsletter titled “NLP Reloaded” has been designed and submitted to Ash & Neels for review. Both have appreciated. A detailed discussion has to be done with Ashlesh.
* Compile all the participants list Status: No progress. I will continue with the existing list.
* Compile PP2 Postings Status: 75% completed. Lisa Thompson has written two versions of her PP2 practises. Also, it takes some time to format. I would say actually 90% is completed. I will complete today and mail to Ash & Neels. Ash will decide when to start praticising on PP2 exercises.
* Derive action items from Tony's books. Status: This is a vague statement. I later decided that I would create a mailing list to share with Go-getters group my learnings from Unlimited Power and Awaken the Giant Within.
Others•I am participating Neels’ drive on “Ten Day Mental Challenge”. Today is the fourth day.
• Received Structure of Magic Vol 1 and 2.

Ten Day Mental Challenge - Day 3

It has been a third day. My mind was calm. Very calm. Not even a slightest trace of negative mood. The day appeared to be a longer, however. Being saturday, I had a lot of time to relax. I also observed patience with the cushion vendor (Shivaji Nagar). The ABT parcel officer (Silk Board) appeared very cool and calm and spoke very friendly. I had a lot of time to read books. In short, this day was that of a variety and awareness.

I Inspire...

Ten Day Mental Challenge - Day 2

My Second day of TDMC was just amazing !!! I was keeping my cool the first half of the day. But from 11 am onwards, I turned witty that I was punching timely jokes with my colleagues and other friends till 11 pm. My team members never thought I have such a timing in my speech. I spoke to people over phone. I went out for a lunch for birthday party. Evening my close friend stayed at home. I mimiked my friend on phone and fooled the caller. My blood was of different colour yesterday!!! I am typing this on Third day early morning. I woke up continuing my previous day's humourous punches. I will be replying to Ismail's mail next.

Ten Day Mental Challenge - Day 1

My first day experience (Wednesday): I was bubbling with enthusiasm the moment I made the commitment to be at "state 8+". But somewhere around 7.30 pm, I lost control and my inner voice told me "I am going to explode". Yes, I did. I got furious at people at home. I went on verbally blasting from 8.45 to 10.15 pm non-stop. I knew later, I could have handled it better. I didnt give up - I analyzed and realized that I should have diassociated from what I didnt like and should have turned my inner voice to say something funny, musical. Atleast I should have imitated Jim Carrey. I lost the first day game. I have to restart again.

My (second) First day experience (Thursday): I am restarting my exercise. Its my first day again. I woke up with a feverish feeling, headache. After reaching, I thought I am going to fall sick. But I gained control and did some visualization techniques that not only eliminated my headache instantly but made me sneeze, and shake a bit. I was perfect then. I worked as though it was a Friday - relaxed.

When I logged into check this mail, rediff offered me a sweet news - "2 GB mail space". I need not delete my mails any more. That marks the celebration of the day one :) So, today I won my first day and am looking forward to start my Second day. You know ? The 10 day mental exercise is a cleansing program. Its like a 'entertaining penance'.

One prime thing...

I have been procrastinating my NLP project. Comparing Religion model with that of NLP.
Learning NLP is adopting a new religion. I believe religion is meant to discipline. But I need to find the rationale. I will start with Hindu religion. The findings may be 'generalized' to any other religion.
Presentation of the content (Language, format) is also very important. I will start with NLP principles and map to religious principles.
Ultimately, one has to practise NLP religiously and live one's religion, the NLP way !!!
I will try to make my best before next weekend. (27-Jun-04)

It happens

You know, “it” happens to almost everyone. “it” could be anything – a loss, sad moments, failure, shame, guilt, unworthy comment, you almost ‘died’.

How would you react, feel, tell yourself when the following things happen.

* Some new friend shares with you an experience similar to that of your “old bitter one”.
* Somebody predicted (relate to astrology, omen etc.) that you would fail. You ignored the warning and still failed.
* You are already feeling low. Someone points out a mistake.
* You are asked by a new friend - “how ‘it’ happened”
* You are seeing / learning that somebody is handling a “similar” experience better than you.
* You are watching a movie. The characters in the film remind you of “that bitter” experience .
* You accidentally notice that today’s date is the day “something wrong” happened in the past.
* You read in the newspaper that five people turned to crime because they had “that” experience.
* You see a person, hear a name, feel the atmosphere that reminds you of that bad day.
* You still feel lost. You get one more blow.

What did you notice ?
Do you think you will be in control ?
Do you think you will take the ownership for the situation ?
Do you think you will feel that whatever happened has a purpose ?

If not,
Do you want to be in control ?
Do you want to take the ownership for the situation ?
Do you want to feel that whatever happened has a purpose ?

Let your brain know that you have made these three major decisions.

A wonderful get-together

It was a wonderful together at Ashlesh's place. I really learnt the power of bonding. People were sharing heart-to-heart and it was just amazing. Receiving certificate is just a milestone but it changed my breathing. I was a kind of emotional at the moment.
Ashlesh, you words are the true certificate for me rather than the US certificate. Thanks a ton ! I often wish 'if only I had a full-day time to chat with you...' I commit, Ashlesh....I will move on, move on...stride, march forward, climb up and touch the peaks. You have taught me to walk, the NLP way.

The power of a brilliant reframe !

(this article is compiled from a newsletter)
For many of us who have been in NLP for a while, we have seen the magic that can occur when some of the big, wellknown, crowd-pleasing techniques are used. We have seen lives changed after doing a parts-integration; we have seen bad habits and bothersome behaviour instantly banished using sub-modalities and swish patterns. We have even seen the amazing results of using perceptual positions to release major negative emotions and limiting decisions. But often times we forget the life-changing effects of just one brilliant reframe. Reframing allows us to take a given situation or experience and put a different "frame" around it, that is, put it in a different context or give it a different meaning in order to empower ourselves or turn the situation to favour us. A brilliant reframe gives us the opportunity to influence people, win our point of view, find the
positive in everything, and be able to really take charge of the way we choose to view a situation.

When singer Celine Dion was being interviewed, Barbara Walters asked her the uncomfortable question... "It is well known that your husband is a bit of a gambler...has this characteristic been a problem?" To which Celine Dion replied without a moment's hesitation, "No, it is a Godsend. I am so lucky he gambled on me and mortgaged his house to assist me when I was first starting out."

Ronald Reagan delivered another great reframe when he was running for president. Many people were making comments about how old he was, and in the Primary debate with Walter Mondale, Reagan was asked..."Do you think age is going to be an issue in this election"...to which Ronald Reagan brilliantly replied... "I refuse to make an issue, for political purposes, of my
opponents youth and inexperience."

Another brilliant advertising reframe is when the company that packages red salmon was losing all their sales to the company that packages pink salmon. They turned their financial future completely around by using one good reframe. They put on their can of salmon the words "Genuine red salmon...guaranteed NOT to turn PINK."

In an interview with actor Jim Carey, he was asked why he risked everything to establish himself as his own type of comedian instead of just taking the easy route and continuing to do impressions as many other comedians did. His reply was..."A life of compromise is never easy."

When life takes you by surprise, or hits you with the unexpected, never underestimate the power of a brilliant reframe.

Noticing NLP everywhere

My NLP awareness is building very strongly that I notice the elements of NLP
everywhere. To name a few :

REFRAMING - Today, it was surprising to see how two different news portals projected a news. Sify website says 'NDA is close to get the majority'. Indian Expess says 'NDA just falls short of majority'. That's a nice instance of reframing.

METAPHOR - Today is the day that marks the 50th year of when Roger Bannister became the first man to break the 4 minute barrier to reach the one mile. The living legend has become a metaphor for 'Peak Performance'

STIMULUS-RESPONSE - Today (too) the weather is good that Bangalore is recording 26deg C. But do we know that weather is just a weather. It has no plans to spoil or energize our mood. It is we who respond to the weather conditions. If weather condition is meant to affect our mood, the news televisions would report like 'Today residents of North India had mood varying from 'bad to ok' whereas South Indians were very happy throughout the day !!!'

MODELING ? - Yesterday my neighbor's kid Smrithi (5 year old) was playing in our home. She carried a teddy bear called 'Lippy'. When I gave some biscuits to Smrithi, she said today was 'Lippy's' bday'. Her timing and imagination was very hilarious; I had to sing Happy Bday and gave some more biscuits for Lippy also (Advantage Smirthi !). She said that she was the mom of Lippy and its very difficult to manage her. I asked her how did she say that. She said, 'Its very difficult to makmake Lippy to sleep. While I pat her to sleep, I sleep off. Then Lippy wakes me up to pat her again.....". Her imagination continued. Then I took her home and shared with her mom what she did. Smrithi's mom said "She was imitating me only. It was me who used to sleep off while I make Smrithi sleep". I was surprised that how fast these kids learn (and what they learn). That's a good news as well as a warning !!!. Could NLP stand for "Notice...Learn...Practice" when it comes to Modeling ?

MIRRORING - I wrote to an editor of a NLP website and ended my mail "Hope to hear from you sooner". When he replied answering my queries, he wrote back "...I look forward to hearing from you again,..". A sign of mirroring ?

You can also pickup Deletions, Distortions, Generalization from my mail :)

Change is by Choice

Its going to be two full months since we completed our practitioner course. While the NLP project drive is on one side, lets go back two/three months and see what we wanted to change by taking the NLP course. I don't think any of us joined the course 'just for a change'. We wanted to change - ourselves, environment etc. Let us ask ourselves, 'Is that change happening
?'. If that change is not happening, let us ask a different question 'Do we need to change' ? followed by 'Do we really want to change' ?

Because most of the change comes by choice...pure choice. We make wise choices only when we are in control. And the finer control only through practice. What are we practising today ?

The time and money that we invested in learning NLP is sizeable. What are we getting in return ? One thing is clear here : we will get something in return having learnt NLP only if we invest time to practise it.

NLP is a 'change resource' from which any change can be bred. Whether we will allow it to happen is purely our choice."

Why and How Long to Practise NLP

Dear Go-getters,

I questioned myself why and how long to practise NLP. Some introspection -

Practising NLP model aggressively may appear strange, but it really pays.
Not only NLP, whatever system we practise, (a named system or an unnamed
system), it really pays. The society, religion, culture, language, family
system, work environment, country, friends circle that we all belong to, are
all models / system that we chose or belong to unconsciously.

Now we are molded to current form by each of the above mentioned models in
some way. If we want to change, it is purely OUR choice. And NLP model
helps.

We may be consciously speaking the NLP language now. But when it becomes
part of us, we will no more think it as NLP. We will live the NLP way.

Why so much hype that NLP is good ? Does that mean, by practising NLP, we
will never feel unhappy, have bad times etc. ? No, we will still face them,
but we will process it so quickly and regain the control.

'My students think I don't lose my center. That is not so; I simply
recognize it sooner, and get back faster', says Morihei Ueshiba, O'Sensei,
Founder of Aikido.

This quote simply amazes me. It has a lot of philosophy behind it. This
founder allows himself to fail but quickly emerges from failure. He recovers
from his off-center so fast, that nobody notices the change. His statement
defies time. The word 'recognize' implies 'awareness'. Awareness is the key.


So, let us practise, practise NLP, till it becomes part
of us. There is a famous book by name "Mastery" written by George Leonard.
He says something like the following in that book on difference between
achiever and master : An achiever aims for a goal -> he DOES something ->
he achieves the goal. But the master aims for excellence -> he HAS it -> he
IS. Do you get the message here ? normal achievers have to do something.
But master has inbuilt excellence. He is already one.

I liked that explanation very much.

We will practise NLP till we get what we wanted; till NLP becomes a natural
process.

We are often identified by our religion. But in reality, we and religion are
separate entities. We got the religious beliefs, values, practises, rituals,
etc. since childhood and we are what we are now.

Similary, let us stick to NLP's beliefs (presuppositions), values,
techniques.
"The beginning of habit is like an invisible thread, but every time we
repeat the act we strengthen the strand, add to it another filament, until
it becomes a great cable and binds us irrevocably, thought and act."
-Orison Swett Marden
Now, having learnt handful of NLP techniques, I feel the same way as much
as how I felt when I bought my first mobile, when I bought my latest PC,
when I was given additional responsbility at work, when my powerful
intuition worked.

I feel equipped and I am. What is a gifted life than being equipped.

Why would I feel helpless, be dependent and never getting what I wanted,
when NLP has so much to give ?

Love you NLP, Anthony Robbins and my coach Ashlesh Rao (Bangalore)- for making big
difference in my life.

My First Post

Hi,
Today I was a kind of frustrated and wanted to do something different to change my state.
I create this site !!!

I am happy about this.

Ganesh